Why hipster morning routines are bullshit
SHAKING THE TREE #105
OK, so as a 60-year old geezer who shaves his head,, maybe my opinions on the whole the man bun thing are a tad over the top. True enough, it might just be the Samson of hairstyles, holding untold power within its knotted depths. But let's not confuse follicular fortitude with the "rise and grind" gospel that seems to be plaguing social media these days.
Hold on to your kale latté, because for lost of us, the truth about that oh-so-hyped morning routine isn’t true (or pretty):
1. Not everyone thrives at dawn: For some, forcing a sunrise ritual just breeds resentment. Me? I am not a morning person. Other than my sweetie (who, after nearly 19 years of marriage, has got used to my lack of conversation first thing in the morning) don’t fucking speak to me until I’ve had at least one mug of coffee.
Maybe you're a creative night owl who hits peak productivity after dark. Embrace your natural rhythm!
2. Hustle culture for the sake of it: The pressure to squeeze every second out of the AM is draining. Isn't a well-rested mind more valuable than forcing a 5 a.m. meditation session? I think so,
3. Quinoa tastes like cardboard: Let's be honest, who has time for meticulously prepping a kale smoothie while battling sleep inertia? A quick grab-and-go breakfast might be more realistic (and less likely to end in a fruit-infused floor disaster).
4. Multitasking is a mug’s game: Trying to cram in a workout, emails, and journaling before the sun even peeks over the horizon is a recipe for disaster and overwhelm. Focus on one thing at a time and you'll likely get more done (and maybe even enjoy the process).
There's no magic formula for success. What suits one person won’t suit another. If the whole “hipster, man-bun, wake up at 4 a.m.” thing is you, knock yourself out, but for fuck’s sake, enough with the lecturing of other people that an ice bath at dawn is the way to go.
If a slow morning coffee fuels your fire, then embrace that as your ritual. The key is to find what works for YOU, not blindly follow the latest trend, even if it comes with a perfectly coiffed man bun.
As always, thanks for reading.
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P.S. Next time on Shaking the Tree … Just write!
Not a morning person but I had to become half of one for mental health reasons. No one should eat quinoa in the morning, you have to work up to that.
Totally agree with point number 2. I like to start my days peaceful. It really fill me with energy for the rest of the day. If I fill up every second of the morning that’s where all my energy goes..